Found Your Partner On a Married Dating Service? 3 Steps to Heal After the Breakup

An online affair may sound harmless but it can affect relationships and the people involved in it. The hurt and misery of the secret that you’ve just discovered online on a married dating service website that your husband or your wife signed up for, can be devastating. Your mind is no longer normal as it tries to connect the dots before you found out about his cheating in a married dating service website. The real evidence that your partner is cheating is right in front of you, as you browsed the profile with his or her status saying “single”, is already breaking your heart bit by bit. With your trust broken too, how can you go on living under one roof with that person? The puzzle is just too hard for you to solve and your partner only has the missing pieces and the answer to your questions.

“Try to let go of the past”

“Try to let go of the past”

You tried to be open about it with your partner as you weighed the circumstances. You’ve used the line “we need to talk” for desperate measures. You dreaded the thought of opening up to him or her about the cheating but you need an answer to your questions. Why did he cheat on you in the first place? With doubts and fears surrounding you, the gap expanding between you and your partner is now clear enough to see. You started to blame yourself for what happened. You decided to give the relationship another chance only to find that your spouse still has not changed. You can no longer contain the hurt of finding your spouse on an online married dating site for the second time around. You’ve become so paranoid that it is no longer healthy for you to be together anymore. You have tried everything to save the relationship. But the sad truth is, not all relationships can be saved. So what do you do after the break up? Here are 3 things you can do to keep your sanity and heal your broken heart.

Don’t Rush

“Don’t rush it, let your anger take its course”

“Don’t rush it, let your anger take its course”

With all that negative emotions raging, your system is probably dizzy, which is not a good time to make drastic decisions or changes in your life. The hurt, pain, anger, deception, doubts and fear inside of you can greatly contribute in making the wrong decisions. With your situation have already messed up you can’t afford of making any mistakes for the time being. Give it time to settle, don’t say anything or do anything out of frustration, you might regret it. Understand as much as you can that this too shall pass and that life changes constantly. The changes may not be off to your advantage but by keeping a positive outlook in life and not rushing into things will definitely turn your life out of the bad spot. Thinking of how miserable things are and how unfair life can be will further poison your inner being. Don’t rush into making stupid decisions such as spreading the news about your partners cheating and thinking of revenge. These decisions will only add up to your negative emotions and will make the healing process even slower or worse it may damage your life.

Don’t rush into bad mouthing or mud-slinging each other after the breakup will only reflect badly on you. Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist says “When a relationship falls apart a mature individual instinctively chooses to keep the details confidential, while there are a few who go to town mud-slinging each other.” She also added that “People need to understand that they don’t need to justify to others what went wrong in the relationship.” Think about it, let’s say you told a few of your girlfriends about your partner or spouse having an affair through married dating service websites; it will still not change the fact that he cheated on you. So if you have nothing nice or good to say, it is much better to keep it to yourself. Respect is important in a relationship and it is of importance as well once the relationship ends. The same goes in seeking for revenge. Find it deep within your heart to tame the wild beast of anger rather than thinking of destroying your life over some petty ideas of revenge. You may get yourself into trouble legally and it will only add up to your emotional pain. It will only make you feel worse that ever.

Deal With It

“Deal with your feelings first”

“Deal with your feelings first”

It is best to put the past behind and move on but you must deal with it first and recognize those feelings of hurt, pain, anger and fear. Dealing with those emotions is never easy but skipping it won’t do you any good at either. The memory of your partner cheating on you through married dating service online may get stuck in your thoughts for a while. And, If they have been using websites for married dating, you would find that the people on the top married dating websites are cheating spouses too . These married dating sites promise to help unhappy married people, but they don’t realize that they are playing with the emotions. So, don’t fall for it and meditate your way out of these thoughts. Meditation is normally done by sitting quietly. But if you are not the kind who normally does this, you can meditate and calm your anger by listening to music, painting a portrait by simply playing with colors or by reading a good book. These activities will help you focus on the NOW as you are completely present.
Dealing with emotional pain may take some time. We can create a positive outcome by tapping into our inner intelligence and creativity. It will help to harmonize heal our emotional pain and we all have access to that ability. Meditation is greatly part of this exercise, since we need to get in touch with our inner being to know and understand ourselves fully. In dealing with our emotional pain we need first to recognize it and identify what you are feeling exactly and why you are feeling this way. After identifying it, you can express it by simply writing it down. There is no need to blame anyone for what happened and there is no need to blame yourself either. By thinking and feeling this way you are slowly releasing the negative emotion by replacing it with positive thoughts and feelings. These feelings are yours and only you have the power to control it. Don’t let it take over you. So take the responsibility to create a positive change in your life. Transform yourself into something good.

Celebrate

“It’s time to let yourself free and celebrate”

“It’s time to let yourself free and celebrate”

Your efforts to rise above the bad state that you are in, has to be celebrated. Your mature way of looking at things positively has to be recognized as well. You just freed yourself from the emotional turbulence and underlying pain and you deserve a credit for it. Treat yourself and buy yourself a present, a flower or a nice dinner maybe. Buy yourself a new dress in anything that will honor your transformation.


Now you have read the three main steps on how to turn your life around after a breakup. It is still up to you if you take a different route to recovery. Your life after the break up will solely depend on you. Any outcome will be in your full responsibility. Any route will be successful as long as you channel your negative energies into a positive outlet.

3 Unique Gifts for your Girlfriend

Holidays are round the corner and if you are one of those guys breaking your head over what to gift your loved one, it is time to learn how to choose those intimate, personal yet inexpensive gifts for your girl. Here are 3 unique gifting ideas that we found in this book and will certainly make her very happy–

For a Busy, Humorous Girlfriend

If your girl has a great sense of humour and is usually busy with work, then you could gift her with an Engagement Calendar. It is not difficult finding one that comes at an affordable price. You could also get her a coffee mug or a flask with interesting captions that will bring a smile to her face each time she uses it. There are many sites that offer attractive and colourful flasks and mugs. Just plan ahead and order a couple of them for her online. Alternately, you could visit a local departmental store to shop for them. Whatever it is, do not leave it for the last minute to ensure you are not caught embarrassed without a gift for her.

For Your Enterprising Girl

If your girlfriend is one of those enterprising types with a lot of interests, you could get her an elegant and beautiful charm bracelet. This is an excellent choice as it is both personalized and personal without being very intimate and sending a wrong message. Visit sites that sell a variety of bracelets in different link styles. If you are willing to spend around $20, you could choose a sterling silver charm bracelet that will take her breath away. For $30, you can find sterling silver bracelets that highlight special interests. If you are in the indulgent mood, you could floor your girl with the expensive gold plated charms and bracelets made of 10K or 14K gold.

Great gifts for your girlfriend

Make her happy

For the Practical Girl

If your girlfriend is very practical in approach, you could buy her a Swiss Army Knife. Many stores allow you to personalize the knife that comes in many different colors. You could choose an attractive pink or amethyst color knife for your loved one for just $15. If you are willing to spend another $6, you could get her initials engraved on it. This functional knife comes with a nail file, scissors, small blade, toothpick, tweezers and screwdriver. It can be attached to the key ring or just carried around in the hand bag. This is a very handy gift your girlfriend will definitely appreciate.

These are some unique gifting ideas that will take your girl by surprise. Take time considering her character traits and choosing personalized gifts that will certainly make her happy.

Conflict: Tips to Resolve Fights Quickly

Okay so you have just found out that getting into any relationship means having bumps along the way. To tell you the truth, it can sometimes get as petty as a cat fight or even as nasty as a divorce – in a nutshell, you have to accept the fact that relationships are not perfect, no matter how much you both want it to be. A relationship is composed of two separate thinking individual with different choices, preferences, opinions and thoughts and it is normal that sometimes conflicts would arise. But how does one act positively on these conflicts so it gets resolve right away? Below are some sure shot ways on raising the white flag and replace it with a mushy heart shaped banner for peace.

Listen to your partner. One components of a healthy conversation is a good listener. If your partner wants to tell you something, try to lend them your ear. It will also help you understand the other person more. This will also give them the impression that when it is time for you to talk, they should also extend the same courtesy. With good listening, there is greater chance for proper exchange of thoughts, therefore conflicts, no matter how big or small, can be given attention to.

Conflict is a part of life

Conflict is a part of life

Do not be afraid to speak up. This doesn’t mean by shouting or using vulgar or arrogant words. Yes you may feel very pissed at the moment but you can still send the same message by using words that are strong and direct but still full of respect. Remember that speaking up should not be able to hurt the person, rather make the other person understand why you are feeling that way or what you think or prefer at the moment so s/he can see where you are coming from. Aside from listening, proper communication is also possible with proper use of words, tone and even hand gestures.

Never scrimp on saying the S word – Sorry. Like I love You’s, saying sorry (especially when you mean it) should be done generously. When you are at fault, do not let your pride get in the way by admitting your shortcoming. All the talking and listening won’t do if both parties do not practice telling the other person that they are sorry. Apologies don’t make you less of a person rather it shows how much you value the relationship you have with the other and how you never meant to do such a thing.

Tips to Resolve Conflict

Tips to Resolve Conflict

Resolving conflicts may seem like a piece of cake but to most of us, these three simple things are the hardest to do. Remember having the intention to mend the conflict with the person who is very important to you should make the process easier. Who says you can’t do anything for love?